Dear Mr.Programme Controller C/O Cbeebies

I watched Sid making an awesome rocket picture this afternoon. By the way, congratulations on hiring Sid, he improves the aesthetics of Cbeebies.

Sid put a piece of paper on the floor, squirted paint all over it, then bounced tennis balls through the paint. This looked brilliant. I totally want to do this. So does Rachel.

Thank you for thinking to show this activity, happening in a roomset. Rachel now thinks we should do this in the living room.

I am hiding the paints, and anything remotely resembling a tennis ball.

If my 3 year old daughter attempts this, or any variant of this- I will be suing.

Thanks awfully,

Deeplyflawedbuttrying

Message from Santa….

Rachel got this message from Santa… This is very very exciting. And useful.

While I may have been quick to dismiss the idea of Santa Claus, as a glory hunting twat, I may have been wrong. Do you have any idea how effective it is to tell Rachel that Santa will know when she is naughty? I don’t want christmas to end, I may have to start imposing actual boundaries and following through.