Contagious christmas awe.

I have historically been a bit of a humbug. My childhood christmasses were nothing to be celebrated, and ill afforded presents often ended up at the pawn shop. I have been a stepmother for nine years, but christmas with teenagers is an orgy of consumerism. Which although fun, is not exactly magical. At work we described christmas as the ‘season to beat your kids up’-given the way alcohol and drugs excacerbate financial and emotional stress.

I am admitting it, I never really got it.

I was excited when Rachel had her first christmasses, but she didn’t get it-it was like pretending.

THen this year-I got it. I now, completely understand. Christmas is bloody magical.

If you could spend christmas, with a three year old, who is just learning what christmas is, who santa is. That there are films with santa in them. Whose worries about whether Santa would be able to come down our chimney, are sufficient that she would wake up to ask me to show her the chimney. A girl who absolutely believes that this magical man, knows whether she has been naughty or nice, and has reddrafted her letter at least 4 times.

Someone who is counting down her advent calendar, with barely the ability to count, but who knows that the more doors that are open, the more chocolates eaten, the less sleeps there are before this amazing day.

Who watches Santa Claus the Movie, and is so scared that Santa might be defeated by John Lithgowes corporate toy manufacturer, that she clings on to my arm, almost shaking, unable to bear the tension.

Preparing for christmas with a 3 year old, is magical. I don’t care who knows it. So today, I am sorting my house, so that when she returns from her dads tomorrow afternoon, there is a tree for her to hang the decorations we have made this week. Knowing that upstairs I have presents, the presents she asked Santa for, and the presents she believes are a direct consequence of her good behaviour, and sudden willingness to have her hair brushed.

THis is the first christmas that she understands, and thanks to her, the first that I truly understand.

This is brilliant. Contagious christmas awe.