Always a cheat? – Guest Post by Nickie.
March 5, 2010Today, I am guest posting on Lisa’s blog. It is a privilege and slightly nerve-wracking to be doing this and I hope I provide something that you find interesting. I have read Lisa’s blog and saw that she keeps up with current affairs and writes about her own take on them. I’ve tried to do the same.
Nickie @ Typecast
Once a cheat, always a cheat?
Recently Vernon Kay has been exposed as participating in the exchange of explicit texts with a number of “models”. Not for one minute do I believe that this was supposed to ever have been public knowledge. He was having his ego stroked and this could possibly have progressed to other things – but that’s my speculation… and I’m entitled. I believe that it only stopped because the information was divulged to the highest bidding outlet and we can only speculate where that information came from, can’t we?
How on EARTH did Vernon Kay presume that his actions would be kept secret, especially when involved with the fame-hungry, stereotypical, tits-out-for-the-lads type of girl that managed to use the exposure (ooh, missus) to her advantage. The main “culprit”, Rhian Sugden, was pictured (posed), dressed in sexy night attire, attending a pyjama party at a Manchester nightclub a few days after the story broke. She was living in the moment, soaking up her fifteen minutes of fame, whilst Vernon was snapped by the paparazzi trying to avoid the main entrance to his own house. Tess, his wife, and the innocent party in all of this, hid herself from the public eye, distraught and disappointed (rightly so) and coped in her own, private way.
Vernon Kay is a man with a beautiful wife (and the word ‘beautiful’ doesn’t begin to describe Tess Daly here), two gorgeous, healthy children, a public image that has been geared towards family entertainment and he still feels that there are boundaries to be crossed and risks to be taken. Where would this have lead? He was obviously completely aware of what he was doing and he was familiar with whom he was conversing with.
I am sick and tired of public figures thinking that they are entitled to attention and even the fact that they could get away with it. And as for the “sex addict” excuse a la Tiger Woods and Ashley Cole, don’t get me started!
Should Tess be giving Vernon another chance? I don’t condone cheating in any way shape or form but my 20-year relationship with my husband is far from perfect and we’ve had our ups and downs. I found myself in the same position as Tess once and had to make a decision that would affect not only our relationship as husband and wife but also that would affect our three children for the rest of their lives. I chose to try and make our relationship work and it’s a two-way street. Not on any occasion did I think that my husband should be grovelling and treating me like a queen; that wasn’t us or how our relationship worked, but I made sure he knew that he was wrong and he wouldn’t get a second chance. To this day, I believe I made the right decision but it may not be the right decision for Tess – only she can decide that.
You can read Nickie’s blog ‘Typecast’, here.
Deeplyflawedbuttrying's Blog 
Oh wow what a difficult decision you’ve had to make Nickie. I think you’re incredibly strong and brave to have made the decision you did. And did I mention loving and forgiving!? x
Nah, Vix – I’m practical. That is all x
Should Tess give him another chance? None of our business. Personally, I’m sick and tired of seeing the sex life of celebrities spread all over the media – it’s not just the tabloids any more, it’s all of them. I cannot tell you how bloody uninterested I am.
No, webhorus, the final decision *is* none of our business but what my point was is that if they want a life in the public eye then they should be prepared to set an example AND be prepared to be picked apart when they step out of line.
With all due respect, I have many problems with this statement.
First of all- marriage is complex. When my marriage ended, only the two people in it could have fully explained why,a nd even then we would both have been left with a shortfall to the complete answer of why.
The idea that people are in a position to comment on that, from a few newspaper articles-is ridiculous. What precisely is it about reading a magazine, or watching a television show, that gives you the right to comment on the marriage of two real people, a marriage where children are involved?
As for people in the public eye being ‘prepared to set an example’- really I think the entertainment industry is the wrong place to be looking for a moral example to start with, but even if this couple had signed some contract saying that they signed over their rights to any kind of personal privacy, I wouldn’t take advantage of it, because of pure moral decency. And given the actions of some of our media, I don’t think a man, having done whatever he is supposed to have been doing, which affects noone but him and his wife- really makes it up there, as immoral.
If this is a defence of her, from his actions, which I presume it is-then I do not see how having her marriage, her most personal relationship, discussed in this way- would be of any benefit to her- frankly, I can’t think of anything more humiliating than stumbling across people speaking about my life in this way.
This is a spectacle where cash hungry tabloid rags, are searching for anything to avoid having to put actual news in our papers-and they appear to be exploiting a young family to do so. There is morality issue here, but it is not one which implicates either protagonist in this.
I figure using a celebrity story as a trigger for empathy is one thing- but quite frankly this is quite another.
I chose to give me ex another chance because of the love I felt for him.
I also chose to give him another chance a few years later, after a separation and a lot of coercing from him, promises, flowers, meals and a lot of wooing.
As it happens he left me for a 20 something back in 2003 who worked in our bar.
I’m out of that and in a different world now and loving it but I think sometimes you’ve got to give it all you’ve got and not walk away so when it does go tits up, you know you gave it your best shot. 100%
Good point, mari – Why put all that you value at risk just for a fling or a bit of a boost. And I think that, whilst no-one is perfect, we are in charge of our own actions and, to some extent, our destiny.
I can’t imagine how hard a decision it is to make when this happens to you. I really hope I never have to find out.
I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, Heather x
Thank you, @Nicky. My sentiments entirely.