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Dear Boris.

February 21, 2010

Dear Boris,

I believe our relationship, is experiencing some difficulty. You apparently do not understand, that we are in a recession, and that if I am paying 65p for a pouch of your favourite brand of catfood, which you demand two of every mealtime, you will sodding well eat it. Licking the jelly off, then shouting at me, so that I will come and top up the dried, jellyless meat, with fresh food, is not eating it. If you do not eat it, I will be putting nothing else down. And will be selling your emaciated body to the glue factory, to try and recoup the cost, of you refusing to eat any other brand of catfood.

If you keep shitting, near the bathroom, next to your litter tray, I will also be sending you to the glue factory. Although I completely accept responsibility, for the state of your litter tray last week. I would never have shat in there either.

Kind Regards,

The person who pays for your food.

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