This is how it actually is….

November 10, 2009

I need to write this down, while I am thinking it. So excuse what follows.

Kids development moves quickly. Fucking quickly. Scarily quickly. Today Rachel was reading her fish book- its just a Dr.Seuss book with some plastic fish looped across the top.  She started showing me which fish looked like which, and which were the same colour, and counting them, and showing me where there were the same amount of fish. And telling me which fish had similar noses, and similar shapes.

She was explaining it to me, and I realised this was new. She couldn’t do this last week. Or possibly yesterday.

Then at bedtime when she wanted my boyfriend to read her a story, I pretended to be upset, pulled a sad face and went to the door, expecting the normal begging me to come back which ensues. Instead she laughed and shouted ‘bye…see ya later…’ and waited till I was on the landing before she ordered me back.

And then she asked me to sing to her, and I realised I could’nt remember the last time I had done that, it had been so long. I have no memory of the last time I did it- so it was never a conscious decision not to.

This is how it goes. You dont notice the tiny things, cos they happen every single day. And they are gone. You dont notice that they are gone, because they are replaced with amazing new tiny things. And its a pain in the arse to spend your entire time wondering over the miracle that is watching a child grow up. So you stop noticing. Then every so often-they blow your mind. My baby has no trace of baby at all. Not one. She is a little girl. A full on smart little girl.




  1. I know, it’s wonderful, very well put. Just magic to watch them and puts all the rubbish stuff into perspective.

  2. Ahh. Amazing, terrifying & fascinating all at once.

  3. This sums up my past week. Beautifully put.
    xx a

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