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Should I have Balamory or that Girl waiting to be fucked?

November 7, 2009

I was sat in the bath the other day with Rachel. We do this a lot. She is used to seeing me naked. Sitting in the bath with a curious three year old can raise some very interesting questions. For instance, she was quite interested to know whether I was aware that her dad, brothers AND my boyfriend, had willies. She knew this, because her dad had told her that he had a willy because he was a boy. She was quite surprised that I knew this before she told me.

She thinks its very funny that I have boobies, while she has pimples. She thinks its even more amusing that daddy is a boy and has bigger boobies than I do.

She is quite curious. She has figured out that there are differences between a her body and mine- and the differences between boys bodies and hers, amuse her no end. She has tried to peeing standing up, like her friend Sam, and got very upset when she couldn’t make the wee wee land anywhere but the puddle on the floor. She is getting quite confused over why willies, and marys(I did not invent this word-I blame my sister) have hair on them.

I am ok with this-there have been no awkward questions that I can’t answer. Her dad has been slightly perturbed when she has tried to grab his penis and take it to the other end of the bath…..I have nothing so grabbable. Occasionally one has to remove oneself from the room to laugh, but I had no worries about this aspect of parenting.

I figured, bring her up in a house where nakedness not an issue. Dont talk about food in terms of weight loss. End result-relatively well adjusted child, few body issues. Great.

I wasn’t prepared for how to deal with porn. Not at 3.

Rachel likes a magazine every now and again. Cbeebies helpfully market magazines aimed at 2 year olds- they stick a load of their favourite characters on teh cover, include some stickers, and a plastic piece of shit toy- charge you 2.99 for privelege. I object to this a bit. I cant really afford it all the time, and its a bit ridiculous that magazines are cynically targeted at children in this way-but am not bothered enough not to buy them. Its a nice treat. She gets excited when she gets one. I like it when she is happy.

I dont quite like it so much when 3 feet away from the magazines marketed at her- there is porn. Images of over inflated, waxed to oblivion women, – in all variety of tacky soft porn type ‘costume'(or in one notable example recently- bent over waiting to be fucked with a black box barely photoshopped over her genitals). On newspapers, in relatively mainstream magazines. This is not nakedness. I have no problem with nakedness. The male fantasy of girl on girl action, not just alluded to, but on the cover of Nuts magazine-with two celeb wannabe girls, feeling each others artifially augmented breasts, not for their own pleasure-but for the titillation of their adolescent(in mind, at the very least) readership is not nakedness. Someone tell me how to explain the difference between these images and nakedness to a 3 year old.

‘Mummy-why is that woman bent over, mummy that lady has a witch costume like mine, but why are her boobies sticking out?(followed later by Rachel trying to pull down her halloween dress, so her ‘boobies’ would show).

If someone could also explain why porn being so far into the mainstream, that I have to explain it to a 3 year old, and that it will form part of her image of women- is ok, I would like that. I would quite like it if any objection to this on my part, wasn’t dismissed as me being uptight about nakedness, or as this blogger found, evidence of a lack of ‘cock’. And could somebody please put the porn on the top shelf, or at least on a different shelf to Balamory bloody magazine.

I dont expect the world to stop because I have a child. I dont advocate censorship of music lyrics, just cos I dont want to have to explain stuff.  But porn? Surely there is a line somewhere? Surely, its not ok that porn is part of the landscape for a bloody 3 year old. I want her to know about the human body, about sex. But porn isnt about either of those things, is it?

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6 comments

  1. Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by slummymummy1: @kelephonica I linked your blog to this blog post-http://wp.me/pyBFp-ku Hope you dont mind….


  2. I love this. I really appreciated the way you wrote about that comfortable, curious, beauty of nakedness as seen through the eyes of a child, and drew a stark comparison between that and what we have foisted on us every day. Thanks for the link also. You make me even more determined to get some activism started in Northern Ireland!


  3. Completely agree. I’ve actually got into the habit of turning them over in newsagents when they’re placed like that.


  4. This is an issue I also worry about. As the mother of a daughter I find I notice the objectification of women much more than I ever did. There are so many things I can do to help my daughter grow into a well rounded individual but I sadly fail to see how I can protect her from a society so riddled with unrealistic images. What is confusing to her now will be so incredibly damaging to her as she grows older. It’s fair to say I dread her adolescence.


    • I’m sure I noticed before, am absolutely sure- but not the way I notice now. I dont know whether its more mainstream, or just because I am seeing the world through her eyes. Bloody horrible though.


  5. […] inevitable questions that arise and, unlike slummymummy1 who touched on that subject in her post here, I do have something that can be grabbed, which in itself leads to situations that some parents […]



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