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We have had what happens when Rachel is ill…what happens when I am ill??

September 22, 2009

I didnt used to mind being ill. Well, obviously I minded-but if we are being honest- most minor bugs were just an excuse to lie on the couch, watching Diagnosis Murder, while eating tomato soup, and drinking copious amounts of tea, with the most strenuous activity engaged in, being a trip to the kettle, microwave, or attempts to ‘sweat it out’ with whoever I was with, while taking opportunity for a hard earned day off work.

First time I got sick after Rachel was born, I got the shock of my life. She was 6 weeks old, and I had barely adjusted to the shock of sleeping in ten minute bursts, constant feeding, and 15 nappy changes a day, while healthy. THe realisation that this had to continue, while my body cried out for the ‘ill mode’ I had spent a lifetime perfecting, showed me very clearly that a) children had a design fault, b)any higher power which fit the bill of ‘god’ was clearly a man, who hated me.

Yesterday, I couldnt be arsed. I left all the jobs I was supposed to do, for today. I spent the day dossing on the net, playing with Rachel, and doing not very much. When my body decided it would no longer be able to regulate its own temperature, and even with the heating on, I was shivering, and my usually very petite tonsils, showed signs of become throbbing oversized balls of pain, I realised that a day of ‘I dont give a fuck’ would have a price.

Once she was in bed, I lowered myself into my own bed- thinking an early night would be in order. The duvet felt warm and inviting, and I started to get ready to slip into feeling sorry for myself, but in the relatively warm confines of my bed, with an episode of Mad Men. I felt something wet on my arse, and looked under the warm duvet, to find a half eaten apple, and three felt tip pens, with no lids on.

This morning, when she came in at 6.10am, wanting me to play- I managed to open my eyes. I did however put Cbeebies on, and doze back off for an hour, in the hope that the throbbing head, aching throat, and chills and shivering, would go away. By the time 7.30am came, I was still hoping for death as I made breakfast, and contemplated the fact that we were at least 12 hours away from bedtime, with no hope of a reprieve.

There are two roads to take in this situation. The first is sitting it out in front of Cbeebies, which results in several things. a) by lunchtime, you have a stir crazy child, who needs to go out and use some energy. b) your house becomes so disgusting that you just sitting in it becomes a chore, as debris from barely supervised child builds up. c) the wallowing in being ill, results in you feeling even worse, as you count down the slow painful seconds till bedtime. The second road, as is so often the case with parenthood- is to carry on as normal. The joy of being single, means that there is noone around to offer you a badge, or a sainthood for this act of martyrdom- so you, my loyal readers, are having this post inflicted on you.

THe throwing up started at around noon. Rachel was so amused by the throwing up, that at teatime she offered me her dinner, for me to ‘sick up’. As I am currently dealing with a mild flea infestation, from a cat, who is behaving in a way that would result in any man being chucked out of my house, and as I had done precisely NOTHING yesterday, I had a house to clean, and a child to occupy.

Now here is where you all spontaneously rise, and applaud. Today, in between shivering, throwing up, wanting to die in any way that was less miserable than this- I cleaned my house from top to bottom, treated a flea infestation, managed to provide three healthyish meals, avert several tantrums, make buns with said child, and roast a chicken-which her father came and helped himself to, on his way home from work.

We are now at 9pm. The point in the day where I had hoped to sink into bed, and look forward to a day of doing nothing tomorrow, after carefully throwing child into arms of nursery. I am very pissed off. The reason I am pissed off? I feel better. I finally have the chance to wallow in misery, feeling sorry for myself, and I am bloody well better. I have no temperature. I am no longer throwing up, my throat is still slightly sore- but I am, to all intents and purposes-better. So I thought I had better update the blog instead.  But tomorrow, I will be buying myself a big sodding badge (Apologies for not updating sooner- have been busy!).

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