A change of pace.

July 23, 2009

Life can be hectic. I spend much of my time, racking my brains, to remember the zillion things that have to be done- and trying to fit them all in. Get washing done, buy new socks for Rachel, do the food shopping, fill in the funding applications, prepare for teh holiday, register with this agency, tell that agency what you are looking for. Ring this person, to obtain this information, for that person, and dont forget to ring so and so, to check what they need you to do. There can be days, when the day starts in earnest at 6am, then I collapse in a tired heap, by 9pm.

Then every so often, all that goes out of the window- and the pace changes. Forgotten are the endless lists of things that I should do, and hello, to two or three days, where my priorities change, and my life centres on myself, good friends, and stopping to watch the world go by. While my birthday didnt offer this precious time, the days that followed, when Rachel went to her fathers, offered this plentifully.

Up until 6pm on my birthday, my day was spent trying to manage on little sleep, due to Rachels surprise present of a vomiting and diarrhea bug(the smell of which still lingers on my sofa…apparently bicarbonate of soda, or biological washing powder will shift it- I should add that to the list of things I need to do). I was sorting washing, trying to remove the debris from my house, in order to get ready for people arriving. Thinking that maybe the sensible thing to do, would be to cancel my plans- and when her dad picked her up, and my boyfriend went home- that I should just curl up and catch up on sleep, trying to eliminate the bloodshot tired eyes, and aching body that I had earned- while trying to make Rachel feel better.

I am very glad I didnt. While I didnt manage to cook the meal that I had planned, which had become impossible while dealing with the chaos that an ill child brings, I should have remembered that the state of my house, and the meal I never cooked- were not the reasons that people were coming.

Perceptions of what would be expected, vanished into thin air- to be replaced by two days of talking, being around people that I liked. With the aid of bottles of cava, endless cigarettes, food eaten if and when the energy could be brought about to cook. Visits to the local second hand market to buy random stuff(an awesome mini etch a sketch key ring, an artists doll, and a teaset and jigsaw for Rachel), and a long afternoon spent slowly drinking in a local pub, where the aged hunchback landady rules over it like a queen, providing sweets, barking insults, and bawdy craic, alongside cheap doubles, and no stella, because the pump was broken. Being caught in the rain, and thinking this wasnt so terrible- until the skin on my arms- shows goosebumps in protest at my lack of sunshine and warm clothing.

Ejection from one life, straight into another- forcing my body to accept a change of pace- so that deciding what to eat, and where to eat, was a task which in a lazy, relaxed state, took as long as cleaning the house from top to bottom, ringing the people on my to do list, and getting Rachel to bed. The pace of my thinking slowed, and now, after my house is empty again, I am trying to get my body and mind, back into a place where I can change pace again.

Only with total relaxation, and a sleepy drawling thought process- I figure that for today- the list of a zillion things I should do, can go out of the window. I have checked my phone and there are 7 texts, and 3 missed calls, and I should probably open my post. But actually, I think I may tidy up a bit- have a cup of tea- bring Rachel home from nursery,a nd continue this pace just for today. Dinner doesnt have to be anything special- leftover potato salad, and some cold fish cuts, and when Rachel is in bed, a movie, and an early night.

I can return to life ‘proper’ tomorrow, and am sure this sleepy drawling state, will have been replaced by me tearing my hair out, and doing everything at once. I shall do this again soon.

Although I should probably start trying to locate a replacement for the dead sunflower, which is showing no signs of reviving on my windowsill.


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