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What I learned today.

June 20, 2009

What I learned today, is that a pair of shoes, is just a pair of shoes. And while I contemplated an ebay auction of my dignity, to cover shortfall between final salary, lenght of time to process a housing benefit claim and my iminently due rent- I learned that a pretty pair of vertiginous fendi heels, and a hand made ocean blue silk and twill corset, and Diane Von Furstenburg black woolen dress- have a resale value.

I also learned that only my love of very expensive, but infrequently bought clothes, is the cushion between me, some piss poor financial planning, and being up shit creek. I am fairly sure that I have distorted the true lesson of this situation, so that I can feel no guilt, when financial situation improves, and I am tempted to spend large amounts of money, on beautifully made, but desperately overpriced items. The human psyche is a very strange thing.

I am slightly concerned that I will find myself in a pink kappa tracksuit, with gold hoops, and have to rename my daughter ‘Demi-Leigh’- although I think if I can get work in next few weeks, that is highly unlikely. I could ring Jeremy Kyle, and book my place on his televisual ampitheatre of human ‘bear baiting’- but still reserve his place, with his back against the wall, when the revolution comes.

One of the benefits of finding yourself skint, is that you rediscover the art of cooking, and the art of buying food. Instead of me, and the short one, having whatever titbits we fancy, I have morphed into someones grandmother(I must specify, not my grandmother- unless I discover a hankering for strongbow cider, and petty fraud). Meal planning, and considering cheap cuts of meat. Realised I havent eaten my favourite meals, since last time I was this skint. Corned beef hash, with two poached eggs on top, and a big blob of ketcup for dinner. Favourite meal for less than a quid a head.

What I also learned today, is that any given ‘festival’ in the town where I live, will be populated by falafel stands, the same hippies, in variations of similar costume, and lots of fair trade signs. I learned that despite my best efforts, my daughter states she is a ‘princess butterfly’ and not a feminist. And I learned that despite the predictability of it all, I quite like being in a field full of people whose conviction and committment to their community, mean that there are many many more ‘festivals’  like it, to occupy me and my daughter for free, for the rest of the summer.  She had her face painted like a butterfly, and is exhausted with a full belly of nearly inedible organic falafels and crepes!

So thats the lessons I learned today.

PS I also learned that my ISP technical department are a pain in the arse, and do not want me to have a fully working, stable, internet connection.

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