Ok, today, I shall rant about men. Not men as such, not as individuals. In fact, I think what I am ranting about is the commonly spouted misconceptions about men, which are as insulting to men, as they are the source of problems for women.
These are particular choice quotes I have heard in actual conversations about men- this week.
1) Men can’t really understand complex emotions.
2) Men cant really get to grips with what needs doing in the house, its best if I do it.
3) Men cant multi task
4) Men have ‘man panics’ when situations that are serious arise.
Now, I am not a fan of ‘what people really mean-when they say this’- but actually, in this case its appropriate. So here is what those statements mean.
1) Men cannot possibly be expected to exist in an adult relationship, and be sensitive to the needs and emotions of the other adult that lives with them and are to emotionally inept, to be expected to treat their partner with anything resembling respect and sensitivity.
2) The ongoing battle that is exhausting me, trying to maintain my house, and our life- is far too trivial for the man who loves me- and it is acceptable that I take responsibility for every job that is apparently too trivial for him to consider-even though it combines to create a full time job on top of the job that I already do, in addition to parenting our children.
3) Men should not be expected to do more than 1 thing at once- and in order for this expectation to be adhered to, I will constantly juggle 76 things-even though I am not genetically predisposed to multi task either.
4) Should not rely on man in time of crisis.
If I was a man, I would be slightly pissed off with these general assumptions. In the same way as I would be pissed off with every article, advert, and programme, which portrayed men, as beings who manage to exist with the afflictions of being incompetent, emotionally inept, and lazy.
The men I know and value in my life, are not like this. The blood diverted from the brain by the presence of a penis has not all of a sudden turned them into morons, who arent capable of understanding the emotions of another adult, treating them with respect, contributing to the maintenance of the lives they build with their partners, or effectively parenting their children.
If having a penis excuses fuckwit behaviour, and a complete lack of regard, or respect for those around you- then clearly next life, I am coming back with one of those. It also means that I should avoid having relationships with anyone with a penis, if this type of behaviour is a natural by product of gender.
Having a penis does not give a reason for fuckwit behaviour. Men are not fuckwits. If a man is behaving like a fuckwit, he is doing so because he is a fuckwit. Just as being treated badly does not become acceptable just because you are a woman.
Tackle that behaviour- but you do men, and women, a great disservice by pretending that this is a natural by product of having a penis.